Vespertine

At the time of writing, it’s 4pm on a Wednesday, approximately six days since we exited “The Waffle.” For those unfamiliar, that’s the squiggly building that’s home to the recently reopened avante-garde tasting menu spot Vespertine. We’re still processing what went down that night. What exactly was that? To merely call this high-end Culver City restaurant “experimental” feels reductive. Dinner at Vespertine is uncut performance art: a nearly four-hour spectacle carried out by a staff of meticulous servers, all of whom speak in serene, hushed tones and dress in black ninja robes. Icelandic synth music echoes across the room, and you’re served courses like milk-fed veal, aerated scallops (?), and teeny Hawaiian prawns served in a giant ice luge. Some things are delicious, some are flat-out bad, and others are so weird they had us amused, perplexed, and, for lack of a better word, challenged far beyond our wishes when spending $1000 on dinner for two. All that aside, it’s an elaborate production that will haunt you long after the meal has ended, for better or worse. Once we’re done riding this high, we’ll properly collect our thoughts and publish a full review.