Oscar Movie Pairings: Mank + Verve Coffee

Streaming on: Netflix

If you’ve been following this column the last few weeks (thanks we love you), you’ve probably noticed we’ve been quite complimentary about this year’s Best Picture nominees. That streak ends here. How is it that, in 2021, Hollywood is still making boring stories about boring old men being boring assholes getting exactly what they want? Because they’ll be praised by that exact same demographic and get Oscar nominations. Props to Netflix for understanding the system. In the meantime, us viewers are subjected to a recycled old Hollywood plotline (long story short, it’s about the guy who wrote Citizen Kane) that I can only equate to a two-hour cinematic root canal. If you watch the whole thing because you want to see Amanda Seyfried’s performance (the only good part of Mank), do what I did and play a game with the clock, betting on yourself to see if you’ll still be watching in 10 minutes. It might help pass the time. Another tip would be to pick up beans from Verve Coffee beforehand so you can pound homemade espresso martinis - it’s the only proven way to stay awake until the credits.