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You don’t go to see Chappie in theaters because you think it’s going to change your life, but because the theater is dark, the popcorn is (hopefully) fresh, and you pine for the days before YouTube when it was the only place to see trailers for the movies you were actually excited about. And sometimes, you might want a similar thing out of a restaurant. Maybe you’re looking for a place to hold a graduation dinner, or you want to focus on helping someone through a breakup without getting distracted by the delicious, fiery ramen in front of you. When this is the case, The Smith is a good place to keep in mind.
The Smith is a chain, with multiple locations in New York and DC. We don’t have anything against chains - a road trip hasn’t really begun until you’ve stopped at Culver’s for cheese curds - but at first glance The Smith manages to look more like Etta than an upscale Red Robin. There are big windows that open up to the sidewalk, subway tiles everywhere, and giant mirrors on the wall, which, in addition to making the space feel even bigger, make the busy waitstaff look like Agent Smith multiplying around Neo. But then you open the menu and see 15 different appetizers, six different sides, a section for both “Salads” and “Big Salads,” and basically everything short of an onion ring tower with sparklers on top. All of this sets you up for a dining experience where what’s happening at the table, not on it, is the focus.
photo credit: Sandy Noto
Like the first person to die in a slasher movie, a lot of the food at The Smith makes what feels like easily avoidable mistakes. The cast iron pizza lacks a crispy bottom edge, and the middle falls apart when you pick it up. The potato chips, sitting under a heavy blue cheese fondue, lose their crunch after about two minutes. The simpler things - not the dressed-up attempts at fine dining - tend to work best here. The skillet mac and cheese isn’t going to blow your mind, but it will more than satisfy your desire to take down as much dairy in one dish as you can. And the Burger Royale is actually excellent: griddled patties that are well-seasoned and juicy, with a heaping order of thin-cut fries that you can fill up on until it’s time for dessert.
The Smith wants to please the largest group of people possible and will probably do a fine job at that, as long as you know to skip bland dishes with fancy names and stick to more straightforward things like the chicken and the mac and cheese. Like a summer blockbuster, it’s a nice way to kill a couple hours in the air conditioning. You won’t remember any of the details after you leave, but that’s probably not why you came here in the first place.
Food Rundown
Potato Chips
photo credit: Sandy Noto
Spicy Salmon Tartare
photo credit: Sandy Noto
Mac And Cheese
photo credit: Sandy Noto
Burger Royale
Cast Iron Pizzas
photo credit: Sandy Noto
Squid Ink Spaghetti
Braised Short Rib
photo credit: Sandy Noto